Let me paint you a picture: your girlfriend is telling you about her day and like usual, you’re 30% listening. Then she casually drops in something like “Stacy has started dating this new guy.”
Alarm bells should be going off in your head. This isn’t the pointless info that has no bearing on you that she normally shares. This is a code red, you should be paying attention. This is going to affect your life massively and here are a few reasons why:
You’re going to spend a lot of time with this man.
The first time will be the toughest. It will probably be at a bar somewhere and you’ll awkwardly try to find something in common. Probably sports, that’s most men’s go-to ice-breaker topic. Then when you’ve fully exhausted that subject, which no doubt will take all of 2 mins, you’re going to have to find something in common to get you through the night.
Get used to this: birthdays, dinner parties, couples holidays, this will be your life now, desperately trying to muster some sort of conversation with some guy you barely know and under any normal circumstance, you’d have literally no desire to talk to.
It’s never the same for girls is it? She’ll probably just complement your mate’s other half’s shoes and baam! Instant rapport. Meanwhile, you’ll be listing every TV show you’ve ever watched in the small hope that this guy has watched it.
He’s your competition
“Oh wow, Todd took Stacy to Mauritius for their two-day anniversary”. Great thanks mate, now he’s set the standard of what a “normal boyfriend should do.” Your customised moonpig card just isn’t going to cut it. Women compare their partners to their friend’s partners so you’re going to have to make sure you measure up.
Right hopefully, I’ve managed to convince you of this guy’s importance.
What you should do about it
Do your research – She probably knows everything there is to know about him. Find out everything you need to know and use it to your advantage. It will help avoid awkward conversations if you know what his interests are.
Wield your influence – Now it’s time to weed out the ones you hate and keep the ones you like. Let your girlfriend know of any crappy qualities you’ve found in the ones you don’t like. Sing the praises of the guys you want to be kept around. Trust me, this will get back to your girlfriend’s friend and will affect her future decisions.
Don’t forget this goes both ways, his feedback has the potential to affect your relationship which brings me nicely to my final point:
Make sure he’s your mate – This is a no-brainer. Getting on with this guy is going to make life much easier at gatherings, dinner parties etc. You’re going to have to spend a lot of time with him. If he sticks around long term you guys could potentially be friends for a long time. He’ll probably be at your wedding. Your kids will be taken on play dates together, hell, he might even be godfather to your child. So make an effort as he could be around for a while.
So next time your partner mentions her friend’s dating, make sure you’re paying attention as this will affect you much more than you may think.
What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.