How to attract a man? Make the first move

As a man, the idea that a guy should always make the first move strikes me as a relic from a time no longer relevant. Some girls prefer guys to make the first move because it fits in with the pre-planned love story they have in their head. Which is fine, well, it’s not but I don’t have time to go into all that right now.

What I want to focus on is when a girl genuinely thinks that if she were to approach a guy and strike up a conversation the guy would hate it.

If Margot Robbie walked up to me in a bar and started a conversation with me do you think I’d be like “oh no I’m not even slightly interested, you’re too forward for me”?

Ok maybe that was an extreme example, and an excuse to bring up Margot Robbie, so let me give you one that actually happened:

A guy friend of mine ended up having a conversation with a girl on a train, but he forgot to ask her for her number. All she knew was his name and the company he worked for. So she contacted his employer, got his contact details and they picked up where they left off.

Now most girls reading this would be like “oh wow,  that’s so stalker-ish.”  How do you think my friend reacted? He was flattered! They are now dating.

Most guy’s barely ever get approached, so when it happens it’s such a self-esteem boost! I can still remember every time I was approached by a girl, 1) because it was so rare 2) because I remember how great it made me feel 3) because I like to reminisce about how envious my friends were when it happened, and 4) because I never stop bringing it up.

My final thought on this: like everything else that’s worth having, finding the right person, isn’t always going to just fall into your lap. Sometimes you’ve got to put yourself out there and make it happen.

Benefits of approaching a guy:

  • You get to pick the guy you actually want to talk to.
  • You don’t have to mope around waiting for a guy to approach you.
  • He’ll be so flattered by you approaching him that he’ll be nicer to you about it.

And ladies no, I’m not talking about glancing at someone across the room and then flicking your hair. Guys don’t know what you mean… you really thought we would get “come over here and talk to me” by you adjusting your hair?

No, I’m talking about bold action.  If you want to talk to a guy, go for it, approach us and see what happens…  it will make our day.

What do you think? Men do you agree? Girls, would you be happy approaching a guy?




13 thoughts on “How to attract a man? Make the first move

  1. I agree too. I think girls sometimes lack confidence and never know if the person they are interested in find them to be interested. I feel like I am pretty confident in myself but never thought to approach a man. What if he has a girlfriend or what if he doesn’t find me attractive. I would be beyond embarrassed and would probably go home and hug my pillow to cry with. Okay, maybe not that extreme but you get what I mean. However, I have approached men for my friend who was too nervous to make a move so that is an interesting thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so interesting! I used to approach men all the time when I was younger but over the years became shier and more reluctant to approach them to a point where my girlfriends and I will go to a bar, not make eye contact/show any visible sign to a guy but still expect them to approach us.. maybe next time I’ll be bold and approach them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish someone would have told me this years ago! I now give this advice to my friends who are struggling with dating. Times have changed. We need to go out there and get what we want :). Great post!


  4. I agree completely too. The thing is, when in herd, I will never go over there and flirt with one. They went to a bar with friends my thought is they wanna have a guys night out and I wouldn’t be welcome. Of course, I could give away my number in a sec 🙂 My advice then ladies, make business cards! Cheap and easy to give.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi 🙂 I gave my phone number to the barman last wednesday and talked to a guy on the street that same night. (we the help of “tropical kiss” cocktail but still 😉 The barman never called but at least I made the first move. Thought about you & your article 😉 xoxo L


  6. Me again. Hello 🙂 How are things going for you guys in Albion?

    I just wanted to let you know that I followed your advice again. I met a handsome man a month ago, he is the manager of a shop. I waited that long but today and I thought I’d be too late, or he’d be married or else, but fear isn’t helping anyone, especially not me 🙂
    So I went straight there (sobre this time lol) and asked him out. He said yes 😀

    So thanks, for reminding me I was that girl, forward when I wanted something, or someone, and that I am still that girl 🙂

    xoxo L


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